Satire: Wordle spells out of control

The alphabet was once united, now forever divided

Language will never be the same.

It started it off as a mere game, closed off to the masses, unknown to almost all. Suddenly, it became a conversation starter, friendship preserver, and a daily habit. 

Wordle, a logic game, had taken over the world by storm.

Players try to guess the daily five-letter word.

When a square appears yellow, the letter is in the word, but in the incorrect spot. A green square conveys that the letter is in the word and the placement is correct. 

Though it’s a simple concept, Wordle is an addicting platform with almost 3 million users tuning in. 

Unfortunately, a once poetically simple game has caused catastrophic dangers. 

On March 9th, the world fell silent. Instead of playful conversations about how many tries it took a person to win, arguments flooded the population.  

Consumers were shocked to see the word of the day: MASKS. 

The controversial word caused a social media frenzy of opinions, with #wordleisoverparty trending on Twitter. 

A former Wordle player, Gary Fellow (11), explained his experience on March 9th.  

“I was in the kitchen, like usual, going through my morning routine. I was eating my oatmeal, and disappointed because I was on my last try to get the word,” he said. He failed his attempts, but became horrified when he saw the word of the day. Fellow almost threw up his breakfast that morning.

Eventually, he followed up with a tweet, expressing his distaste in Wordles’ decision to choose division over peace.

“No individual should have to go through this, but I am glad I survived,” he said.

Fellow further explained how this experience has changed his social life. He unfortunately had to cut-off some of his friends due to their support of Wordle’s decision to include such a controversial word.

“Wordle ruined a lot of close friendships of mine. I mean, my friend, Jeffrey told me he ‘didn’t care.’ How do I even know his personality now?” Fellow said. 

Rose Larue (10) was with family when she played Wordle on March 9th. 

“I am infuriated. Wordle has been corrupted, and I am so sad to see this game go down the wrong path. They’re using fake words right now,” she stated. 

Wordle has yet to comment on the recent backlash, but is now facing competition. 

Marsha Elder, a software developer, has created a new game, which has been dubbed Wordle for Moderates.

“I think giving people a safe environment is necessary. If people can’t trust a word game to be impartial, what can they trust? I’ve seen so many families and friendships suffering due to their opinions on these daily arrangements of letters,” Elder said.

The word game industry has become very divided due to these recent events. 

Elders’ game has exploded, gaining 350,000 players in just a week of it being online. 

She accounts this success for the people knowing what they want and the content they want to consume. 

“With the world being so divided today, I truly felt Wordle was the one thing that could unite people. However, it changed, and I am devastated. I finally realized that I was the only one who could truly take control of this situation,” Elder explained. 

Milo Hartman (9) started playing Wordle for Moderates right when it came out. 

“It is very important for people to talk about the toll Wordlegate took on us players,” Hartman said. 

Later he explained that he uses the new game as a form of therapy to start trusting words again after his traumatic experience. 

Hartman said, “It will be okay. I am glad the world has adapted and changed to this scandal. Also, new platforms have made it easier for me to trust. Most of all, I hope Wordle understands what they have done.” 

Though Wordle has made no official response, the March 10th daily word on the platform seemed to acknowledge the recent events. The word was simply ‘SORRY.’ 

However, the damage had already been done. Twitter and Instagram had already blown up with public opinions and fights. 

I guess it was too little, too late.