Let’s set the record straight. We know that while we might learn a thing or two from school, it doesn’t necessarily prepare us for everything we might encounter in the real world. Here are three important lessons that high school didn’t teach me which helped me become more independent.
Handling broken friendships
Broken hearts are often discussed, but one thing that needs to be talked about is the damage a broken friendship can do. It takes time and effort to grow these relationships, yet they are so easy to break.
For some people, handling a ruined friendship might be easy. However, others, like me, find themselves struggling a bit.
I had a friend that lived in the UK. He and I would text and call often, despite the difference in time zones. We ended up learning a lot about each other and making fond memories. We overcame any hardships. We shared our problems and helped each other find solutions. Our friendship had grown stronger in the last two years of talking. Suddenly, he stopped responding to my messages. I could tell he clearly read them, but why didn’t he reply? Did I do something wrong?
He started posting on his stories, which made it clear he was active on his socials. Then why hadn’t he responded? After seeing a few more stories of his personal life, I came to the conclusion that he got a girlfriend, and that’s why he wanted to distance our friendship. I couldn’t even get upset because I understood what he was trying to do, but the disappointment struck at the realization that he didn’t make the effort to communicate it with me.
But, from this experience, I learned I needed to take the time to make my boundaries clear and to advocate for myself. I realized I had people who made the effort to keep our friendships strong around me. Yes, occasionally, I miss the late night conversations we had and the joyful moments we shared, but I won’t blame myself for this sudden change in our friendship. Sometimes it’s a difficult pill to swallow, but not all friendships are meant to last. Some are just there momentarily to make you learn something valuable. Through this experience I came to the realization that it’s alright if nothing lasts forever. It’s better to be comfortable enough with yourself to admit it. It helped me in learning to create boundaries and understanding I cannot control certain outcomes.
Changing a tire
Last summer, I was on a vacation in Missouri at my cousin’s house. One night, I couldn’t sleep because of pouring rain. I was mindlessly scrolling through my phone at 1 a.m., when my cousin rushed into my room.
“My shop just got flooded,” he said. “Want to help clean it up?”
It took me a moment to register what he meant. It wasn’t the first time his shop got flooded, so I wasn’t surprised. I was bored, and this sounded like an adventure to me.
My cousins and I got into his car and started (safely) speeding to his shop. Roads were blocked off. It was too dark to see, and there were no lamp posts at all. My cousin was driving the car like he was in Fast and Furious. The roads were so hilly with dips and turns, and at the end of the hill, there were floods of water.
Reverse. Drive. Reverse. U-turn. We were trying to get to the destination, alive. Then suddenly the car warns us…low tire pressure. Everyone groaned impatiently. We all stepped out, the heavy rain soaking us in mere seconds. I glared at the tire that betrayed us while my cousin took out the spare. Luckily one of us knew how to change a tire.
I helped out in the process, and along the way, I learned how to change a tire for the first time. It’s quite simple and straightforward. It made me realize I could save lots of money knowing how to handle these situations.
Though the moment was crazy, it motivated me to learn more about mechanics. I was excited to learn a skill that could be helpful. I didn’t realize how harmful it could be to unknowingly limit your capabilities. I never thought I could change a tire or fix a car. However, this memory taught me not to judge myself too harshly and try new things. This new mentality and independent thinking is what will help me succeed in the future.
Learning to cook
Most people enjoy their mother’s cooking. It’s like they have magic right in their fingertips, cooking up your favorite meals. When I first tried to cook, my mom told me to just follow the recipe. I didn’t understand why my dishes could’t compare to hers. I thought there might be some kind of secret she was hiding…or that she was just talented.
My mom laughed it off, saying it’s nothing but adding random things to make it taste good. Cooking is a work of art, and can only be mastered by constant trial and error. I was just being impractical at the time.
I would watch my mom make food, intrigued how she doesn’t even measure. She started to work overtime at her job, causing me to become the head chef for my family. Slowly, I went from Facetiming my mom for help while cooking to not needing her assistance. Though at the time it was troublesome, I reflected on how I was able to grow. I felt like a kid riding their bike without the training wheels anymore. Even though my food wasn’t perfect and it took time to understand how to balance flavors, my family was supportive of me trying to learn a new skill.
Now, I can proudly say I know how to cook. I didn’t expect that something I tried to learn just for survival would end up teaching me to become more confident with myself. Instead of giving up easily, I was pushing myself to try harder and make even more delicious dishes.
It is experiences like these that may be random but valuable to learn from. It is the education beyond the classroom that really shapes us and prepares us for life. How do you predict, adapt, and survive when there is no danger of making a mistake? These experiences stay with us. They don’t leave, nor are they forgotten. This enables us to truly form the skills that set ourselves up for success. There are a variety of different lessons people can learn from. Through this, I’ve learned that not every event is a bad thing, and instead, can be an opportunity to learn independence.